Fix The Fathers

I have been blessed to spend time with many children. We have a large family, but I have also worked with kids in a variety of settings such as Sunday School and youth groups. I consider each opportunity to teach or just provide supervision a real honor. We have definitely met some wonderful young people. Some come from good Christian homes. Many are the only light in their family. My heart breaks for these kids. What has happened to families over the last couple of generations? Why are there so many single moms or grandparents raising these kids?

I attended a conference  last year for homeschool families in Pittsburgh and set in some excellent sessions for fathers and husbands. The speaker made an argument that church youth groups have largely been unsuccessful. While I didn't fully agree with all that was said, one statement has been glued to my brain ever since that day. When talking about how to reach our young people he simply said, "We have to fix the fathers". There is no deep meaning to search for in this statement. It is just pure truth. The Christian life is difficult enough in the most Christ-like homes. When Mom is doing her job plus the fathers it is even more challenging. You just can't improve on God's design for the family. The man is to lead and nurture. I certainly feel God is capable of performing any miracle with  any young person. I just find it to be a shame so many men put a low priority on what God has trusted them with.

As with most sin I think it all boils down to pride. Pride is a family destroyer. When hobbies and career come first we are just asking to fail. We dads need to wake up. Our time is fading and many families are failing. I have always heard everything rises and falls on leadership. I think youth groups and bus ministries are awesome and needed, but this only scratches the surface. As uncomfortable as it may seem, there is a great need to reach the dads. I think we need to fix the fathers.

Church Family

I am not completely sure where to begin on this subject. I could go on and on about the impact  of my church family in my life. I could write about the investments made in my children by so many. There has been men who influenced me with teaching, preaching, and in their actions of how they care for others. My wife and I learned about serving and what is God's design for a Christian marriage and family.

We recently moved to a new town. This has meant saying goodbye to some and the excitement of getting to know others. It was certainly difficult to leave people we love dearly. I was certain we would suffer from some type of "church depression". We felt nothing could fill the void of the place we grew to love so much. However, as usual, God knew what we needed and took care of us. We had this plan where we would visit a church for a few services and then visit somewhere else. Repeat the process until something stuck. The funny thing is, the first place we went was clearly where God intended us to be. Everyone loved us as if we had been there for years. Many have made a point to learn our kids names. God's infinite wisdom is so amazing. While we miss our former church family very much, we suffered no "church depression". We will gain a new family when we become members tomorrow.

Through these events God has emphasized something we already knew. His people are meant to be together. It is important we are in His house when the doors are open. Fellowship is by design and very vital for Christians. The Bible says "iron sharpeneth iron". I pray our family can be a blessing and encouragement in our new church. We are full of excitement and looking forward to the future.

Perfect and Upright

God described Job as perfect and upright. Job was not sinless. Perfect in this form means complete.  He was a complete Christian who made a series of upright decisions. These decisions were not affected by circumstance. Job was faithful no matter how hard life became. He clearly wanted to please God.

As Christians, we have the same ability to please God. In Sunday School we learned about character traits such as courage, trust, kindness, and submission. We have learned that we need to have all of these and more as part of our character. An attribute like courage can be dangerous if you are not also humble. It is more evidence of God's perfect design for our lives.

It is also about effectiveness. When I think about being a complete Christian I think about a car "hitting on all cylinders". When a motor is working properly in all areas it simply performs better. The same is true with believers. When our character is complete our effectiveness for the cause of Christ is enhanced. We are of more value.  We are also more likely to have the ear of lost people. When unsaved people see Christ-likeness not only in our words, but also in our actions and attitude, that is powerful. Just think of the influence of people in your life who have shown kindness and expected nothing in return. We just naturally respect people like this.

We have recently moved to a new area. I often think about the opportunities we may encounter. I think of all the new people we are likely to meet and possibly have a chance to influence and encourage. I can look back on so many positive examples in my past. People whose testimony made me want to live right. I hope to have the same impact on others. I think if we do not choose full character we limit our effectiveness. Life is about relationships. Relationships with family, friends, lost people, fellow believers, and God. Life is also about the decisions we make. May we live as Job and not let difficulties change our focus.

Consumers

In America we definitely know how to consume. Just look at the current obesity rate and rise in health related problems. The demand is evident by the supply. I heard there is over 200 McDonalds in Manhattan alone. The fast food industry is held accountable for our health issues just like big tobacco causes cancer. In reality, our problems can be traced to a series of poor decisions. We generally want to find someone or something to blame for our problem instead of holding ourselves accountable. As if someone owes us something.  I hope to teach my children a different mindset. Our kids will not learn from the world's example. You reap what you sow is as true today as ever.

Nutrition has become important recently in our home. We realized we want to be healthy and be here for our grand kids. Therefore, we have taken steps to change our lifestyle when it comes to food. Quick fix diets have never panned out. We realized we need to add the good and we have eventually had less desire for the bad.  As our church studies stewardship this month, I realize, that how we take care of our body should be part of that thought. After all we are His. We manage the body he has given us. If we don't take care of ourselves it is no different than mismanagement of our money. Christians often want to look past this.

So what about consumption of spiritual things? We are to feed on the word of God and focus on what has eternal value. The reading, teaching, and preaching of the Bible. To include a proper prayer life among other ways of taking in what God has for us. The next question is, what does a Christian do with this consumption? I had a conversation the other day about many church members being consumers only. We discussed how 20% of the body of Christ does 80%  of the work. Many look at "the church" as just a building where you go to get fed spiritually. The church is the people and should extend outside of the walls. While we all need fed, that should only be the beginning. There is so much work to be done for Christ. Imagine the impact if our churches had an abundance of servants. What if all the hearers became doers?

Provision vs. Stewardship

God has always provided in abundance for my family. We don't always have all we want, yet our needs are met daily. We certainly have more than we deserve on earth and waiting in heaven. That truth is easy to lose sight of if we are to focused on things of this world. Our instruction is to be in the world, but not of the world. If our vision is eternal, the joy of the Christian should be full.

Salvation starts with faith in the evidence of things not seen. Unfortunately, for many Christians that is the high point of their faith in God. Many of us don't "leave it with God". We want to do things in our own power. Consider how ridiculous this is. We have the power of a Holy God dwelling in us and we choose to not harness that power. That is like riding a skateboard from New York to LA when you could fly on a jet.

So where does stewardship fit in? Can't we just ask God to answer our prayers and leave it at that? The Bible tells us to manage our time, treasure, talent, and testimony wisely. Therefore, we need to ask for God's favor and work hard at the same time. God's Word it truth entirely. We often want to take part of the Bible and dismiss other parts. I think it always comes back to faith. He wants us to ask and be confident that He can answer our request. We show our faith through obedience. If I ask God for a more dependable vehicle and fail to take care of the one I have than I am not being a good manager of what He has trusted and supplied me with. It is also about contentment. Obviously, if we can't be happy where we are, new things will not achieve this. God is concerned with our attitude. He looks on the inside.

I recently heard a great message about why God doesn't answer prayers from some people. If we hold on to one sin it keeps His favor from us. He is merciful and loves us, but a Holy God hates sin. He cannot tolerate sin. We are all sinners and as long as we are on this earth we will continue to sin. The key is what we do about our sin. Do we continue in our disobedience? Do we hold on to our one pet sin? Or do we ask for forgiveness and turn from the sin?

I know our Lord provides, because I have seen it over and over again. I also realize we are to be accountable for our actions. We are to do everything heartily. We should work hard and be responsible in all areas of our life. Some Christians are constantly miserable by choice. We know there will be storms. There is no guarantee of an easy life, but in my opinion, if a believer is miserable everyday than they are not right with God. We often want God to hear us, however we aren't always willing to do our part. He is able. He is willing. Let us live a life of obedience, accountability, and expectation. I know my God is ready to pour His blessings on us.

 

The Things Not Taught

In the past I wrote about a homeschool dad who told me academics were not a primary concern in his house. At the time, that was a very shocking statement to me. Back then I was not sold on the idea quite yet and to hear someone say reading, writing, and math was not the most important part of their school day really surprised me. Now that my family has homeschooled for three years I really understand the meaning behind such a statement. I know science and history are important, but I realize many things my kids need to succeed are not taught in most schools.

First and foremost is the need for a personal relationship with Christ followed by knowledge of absolute truth only found in the Bible. Preparing them spiritually to face a world growing more and more evil is paramount. Our childrens foundations are being formed every day. Are we preparing them adequately? There struggles are even more difficult than when we were young. Satan has more avenues to reach our kids.

Another principle I want my little ones to learn is in the area of personal finance. Most kids today completing college are already in debt with student loans. The culture today tells us we deserve the best houses and cars right now regardless of how much money we have. I want them to learn how to save and budget. If they fail to learn this principle it won't matter how good of a job they have.

I interview several potential apprentices in my job. It is amazing how unprepared most applicants are when they arrive. Many have no idea how to dress or present themselves. Although they may be very interested and even qualified for the job, their body language and speech say otherwise. I want my children to see the importance. I want them to understand they truly will get only one chance to make a first impression.

These are a few qualities I pray they learn and possess. A good background in these areas helps produce a confident young person more capable of facing the world and effectively serve God. There are many other areas in our children's life we plan to focus. My wife and I feel character traits are vital. If we teach them about kindness, backed up with what scripture states, they will grow to have it as a quality. These are all lessons not taught in most schools, and to be fair, it is not any school's responsibility. It would be great if they reinforced them, but we parents are to teach them. This makes homeschooling even more of a blessing. These skills and qualities can be incorporated throughout the school day. As parents, we should never take our charge lightly. The Lord expects our best and we are accountable for how we raise them.

Kid's Day

Saturday was the first annual kid's day in our home. I know many will argue this takes place every single day. My wife and I decided to draw attention to a specific day. This was also their day of recognition for advancing to the next grade in homeschool. The day was packed with activities and we never even left home. Sometimes it seems when we spend less money we often have more fun. This is especially true when we set out to spend time together as a family. It was difficult throughout the day for me to not work on the lawn or clean off the front porch. We decided our chores will still be here another day, but this day was for the children.

The day began with breakfast followed by the promotion ceremony. Each homeschool student received a certificate and individual recognition in front of their siblings. They were very excited and enjoyed the recognition. We then prepared for a water party. This consisted of a three wide slip and slide, a sprinkler spraying up through the trampoline, and a bubble station. After a couple of hours of fun in the sun the kids enjoyed chocolate ice cream with sprinkles on the front porch. We then went in and enjoyed a little AC as mom prepared one of their favorite meals, an entire dinner made up of appetizers. Once dinner was over they played outside as we waited for the sun to go down. The evening was wrapped up with a movie projected on the back of our house followed by some backyard fireworks. It was an exhausting day, but one I wouldn't trade for anything.

I always feel like time spent together as a family is time well spent. We put this day together to let our children know how privileged we are to have them and to emphasize they are a blessing and gift from God. I'm not sure the day had this meaning to the kids. Perhaps it was just a day of fun for them. Maybe all they saw was ice cream and activities. One thing I am sure of is that it allowed us parents an opportunity to pause and really see all we have. We are wealthy with the blessings from the Lord. I encourage all parents to a break from the hustle and bustle. Family is about the relationships. It is about having their hearts and leaving no doubts in the minds of our children that we love them. Our kids are already asking about the next kid's day. I look forward to the 2nd annual event and any other chance to grow as a family.