Predictable Or Normal?

I have been studying my Sunday school lesson the past few days. We are learning about the phases of corruption in the heart of teens. It is scary to know the spiritual attacks on our children are a constant war. Battle after battle, Satan wants nothing more than distance between our families and God. The lure of sin is always attractive in the beginning. What seems harmless will slowly adapt the spiritual lives of our kids. Over time, what once was clearly wrong becomes more and more acceptable. I am beginning to really understand the importance of foundation.

My children are young and we are not fighting the teen battle yet. I know how I'm raising my kids today will have a direct impact on the teen years. As a former soldier, I often find myself making military comparisons with daily life. Why do we have the strongest national defense in the world? One reason is how our troops train. They are prepared and equipped for battle. We wouldn't parachute our service members behind enemy lines with a water gun. In a sense, that's what we are doing with our kids when we offer them no spiritual foundation. When they are not taught to consistently pray and hide Gods word in their heart we fail. One of the best things we can do for our kids is prepare them for battle. The battle is a sure thing. It is dangerously foolish to think otherwise. Failing to act is failure.

We parents often fall in the trap that it's just a "phase". We accept their increasing bad attitudes, anger, and bitterness as acceptable. I have learned this week that no Christian, of any age, should remain in a miserable state for a long period of time. This is a warning sign to parents. The physical signs on the face and actions of our children is direct evidence of a serious internal, spiritual problem-a problem that needs our attention. These so called "phases" are not normal for a believer, yet they are predictable. We should expect these problems and then deal with the issues. I am learning this daily. The world tells us they will grow out of the disobedience and disrespect. The world's view is much different than the absolute truth of what the Bible teaches us what our family should be. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to see Christ-likeness in society. More than ever we need to work hard to seek truth from our creator. It is not normal for families to live in the same house and rarely spend time in the same room. It is not normal for our kids to listen to music or watch TV that is not God-honoring. It is not normal for our kids to dress in a way that is not modest. It is not normal for my sons and daughters to disrespect me. It is not normal to miss church. These are all worldly acceptable and even predictable, but to the Christian parent should never be accepted as normal.

Making It Count

One of the best things about homeschooling is you can make your own schedule. Your not confined to the time requirements of the county school system. You can teach math at 8:00 PM at the dining room table. You can teach about Jesus and pray in class. More and more I am grateful that we are able to teach our kids at home.

Unfortunately, we have not been able to fully take advantage of this freedom lately. We have 2 foster children and one is required to attend public school. Prayerfully, we will soon adopt these beautiful kids and return to what is "normal" for our family. Our normal is way different than many other families version.

One thing we generally do is take our vacation while other kids are still in school. It is so nice to enjoy the pleasure of smaller crowds. This year we had to vacation during our counties spring break. Although it is not completely ideal, any vacation is a good one. This one has definitely been a great time. We spent our week at The Smoky Mountain Christian Village in Pigeon Forge, TN. It has been wonderful to relax in an alcohol-free environment with like minded believers. I think we will be back next year for sure and I would definitely recommend to others.

The other night after the kids were asleep I sat and thought about the day. I thought about how important it was to make these times really count. I realized the quality of our time is far more important than the quantity of places we visit. We parents look at vacation week as a checklist. We want to get the most for our money and for our children to have as many experiences as we can cram into the week. The funny thing is our kids mostly enjoyed the low key events that were free, like sitting around together each night before bed watching "Little House On The Prairie". They found more excitement looking for turtles in the pond and swimming than visiting Dollywood.

I learned a lot this trip. I learned it is about the relationships more than anything. Just like with Christ. Christians need to comply with obedience, but there is so much more to it. It is about the personal relationship. The same is true with our children. They need the discipline and need all that goes with that. They especially need us, all of us. Not the leftovers and not just on vacation. We need to have our children's heart individually. I hope to make every day count, because we don't get these days back. We have the opportunity to make life long memories and influence how our kids will value their children.

We Fail When They Don't

Spring is in the air. It is such a beautiful time of year. Everybody seems to be spending more time outdoors. There is nothing like the smell of freshly cut grass and hot dogs cooking on the grill. The kids can begin to burn up all the stored energy from a long winter. It's symbolic of a new beginning or a rebirth. God allows us to see so much of his beautiful creation this time of year.

The warm weather ushers in Spring sports. Our children are kicking soccer balls and hitting baseballs. Teamwork is being taught. I can remember playing Teeball as a young boy and how exciting it was to have a uniform and play an organized sport. In the past few years I enjoyed seeing some of my children play soccer.

Youth sports have changed a lot since I was little. It seems some parents are obsessed with their kids winning. You often see the worst in parents on the sideline in how they treat officials, their kids, and other parents. Our kids will learn more from our example than our verbal instruction. In an effort to calm parents, and protect the feelings of kids, some leagues no longer keep score. I find this to be a shame. It is easy to be a winner, but how will our children know how to deal with loss if they never experience it? In a world where all must be fair, they are being short-changed in the long run. How will children be able to one day deal with not receiving a promotion or being rejected in a relationship? It is our job as parents to prepare our kids for adulthood and not some make believe world where they always win? In the end, we fail our children when we don't allow them to fail.

Paralysis By Analysis

Did you ever know someone who constantly out thinks the room? I have worked with people who were brilliant, but often their brain kept them from accomplishing goals. We can always find reasons to not act. We can always talk ourselves out of moving forward.

Golf is a very interesting game to me. Seems like most years when spring arrives I look forward to at least making it to the driving range. Without fail, I am eventually hitting at least a few decent shots my first day out. Then something happens almost like clock work. I start thinking of adjustments to improve my game. I begin to change my stance, how I grip the club, and how I swing. I become tense and have a million thoughts going through my head as I attempt to hit the ball. Thus begins the downhill spiral of my golf game for the year. Many call this paralysis by analysis.

We often do this with issues in life that are way more important. We wait for the stars to align before we act. Some want to be advanced in their career before having children. You will never arrive at the "perfect time" for children. I can't imagine having missed a house full of happiness waiting for the "perfect time".

Non-believers will want to straighten out their life before coming to Christ. In reality they need Christ to do the straightening. As Christians, we need to look for opportunities to serve God right where we are. We don't need to wait until our children are grown to serve more. Just as we shouldn't do less once we are retired. The sad fact remains, that while we find ourselves people are dying and going to Hell every single day. Our purpose on this earth is to be doers of the Word.

As They Grow

March is a busy month for birthdays in our family. St. Patrick's Day is my twins birthday to cap off 4 celebrations for the month. I feel old as I reflect back on my children growing so fast. Our oldest is ten and will most likely be out of our house within a short decade. There is so much excitement knowing they will one day have their own families-their own babies to ooh and ahh over. It is exciting and also sad. I am in no hurry to be an empty nester.

In today's world we rarely take time to reflect. Why do we no longer see the value of unwinding and considering our completed day or week. There is so much to be learned from what we experience. We allow the "hurry up" attitude of modern day to cheat us out of this time. Time in which we learn to grow as Christians, husbands, and fathers.

As important as reflection can be, there is also a premium on realizing we have a short time to impact our young children. We need to reflect, but not get stuck on yesterday. The truth we teach today will impact generations of our family tree. That is very eye opening. Our roles as parents is an awesome responsibility we should take very seriously. It is not just parents with this influence. Imagine the impact grandparents can have on the values our kids will take forward.

Encourage

Somebody once said they could survive a week on one compliment. There was a time I thought encouragement was unnecessary. I felt everyone should have enough drive within to be successful. I have now realized the importance of encouragement in the lives of others. Often it is the one element missing that keeps a friend or family member from prospering.

Husbands need to be the encourager our wifes' need. I have not been all I should be to boost the confidence of my wife. They deserve it and most importantly, they need it. I have noticed a confident mother is nearly unstoppable. This is twice as important with a homeschool mom. They are fighting an uphill battle from the start. The commitment to educate children in the home is mostly unaccepted outside of the immediate family. Often it is not supported by friends and extended family. Society thinks your kids are at home watching cartoons all day. This adds up to a lot of pressure for a homeschool mom and means they need us more than ever.

How important is encouragement to our children? It is vital in there development. We have seen this in extreme cases with foster children in our home. Many kids spirit have been severely defeated. It is visible in their body language. Within days of being constantly built up and loved the difference is noticeable. It is like watering a tomato plant and physically seeing the growth daily.

God intends us to lift each other up. Iron sharpeneth iron. It also helps get the focus away from self. Just think what a few positive words can mean to a new Christian or someone convicted about salvation. We clearly spend too much time on the negative. Think of those few people you know who always have something nice to say. Think of how they make you feel. Let's be that person for those we influence.

Mine Eyes Have Seen

I have seen some crazy things in my life. I can remember one Sunday morning leaving home to see my niece perform in a church program. We didn't regularly attend church at that time and my wife was pregnant with our first child. We lived way out in the country where most roads are slightly wider than one lane. As we started up a steep hill I noticed a fire truck approaching. I then pulled our small pick-up truck to the right and came to a halt. As the heavy fire truck slowly passed us a portion of the blacktop broke free causing their right-side tires to come off the road. The top heavy vehicle began rolling down the hill in seemingly slow motion only stopping when it's progress was stopped by a couple of small trees. We were able to help most of the trapped firefighters out of the truck except for one whose leg was pinned. My wife went back home to find something to help dig him out. To this day, one of the funniest things I ever seen was my pregnant wife charging up the side of this mountain with her arms full of shovels and hair full of curlers. Some other rescue workers soon arrived and were able to free the young man. He was fortunate to only suffer a minor injury.

Looking back I think that day was a metaphor of what our life was about to become, chaos. Of course the chaos of today is the good kind-the kind that includes many blessings-the kind of chaos that comes with the sound of many little footsteps constantly moving through our house. That day also reminds me of all the times I see God answer prayer and can physically see the results.

I think back to when we decided to get involved in foster care. We already had 2 beautiful daughters and prayed we would someday adopt a son. People constantly told us the deck was stacked against us. You see, most new foster parents rarely get a baby placed in their home and if this rarity actually happens they certainly have almost no chance of ever adopting the baby. This all seems logical except for one thing. God is not limited to what seems logical in our small minds. We continued with the process of becoming legal foster parents and after we finished we waited for our first placement. We didn't have to wait very long. A few short short months later my wife came home with our first placement, or should I say placements. I can still remember her walking through the door with 6 week old twins, Christian and Samantha. The social workers warned us to not get attached because this is only a "temporary" placement. As I type this I am watching the twins complete their school work. They will be 6 next week and we have been blessed to adopt these beautiful kids. So many unlikely things had to work out for the twins to permanently join our family. What seemed to be the perfect storm of events in human terms, was a piece of cake for God.

God is always ready to bless us. He is waiting on obedience and belief. We need to "prepare our fields for rain" and expect that He will deliver.