Our churches are full of faithful women. Some are single moms, while others have unsaved husbands. Many are married to believers who have strayed from God. I trully believe God will one day reward the faithfulness of these "spiritual widows".
I guess I am burdened for these Godly women since I was raised in this type of home. I can remember my mom ensuring we were in Gods house pretty much everytime the doors were open. My father was an alcoholic and was not very involved. So many mothers, just like mine, are basically doing it alone. They just keep on moving forward through the pain.
I know today it is difficult to maintain a strong Christian family, even with two like-minded parents. Our homes are under a spiritual attack. Even in the best situations challenges arise. Imagine the struggles for the ones flying solo. This is why the church family is meant to strengthen each other. The spiritual widows need our compassion. They also need our support, but mostly they need our prayers. I can't imagine the pain of some just hoping and praying, year after year, that their mate will step up and fulfill their role.
So many of our problems today are not always from the bad things people do. It is often from the things that are not done. The failure to act among men is destroying our families. The combination of Satan's easy access through modern technology and sideline fathers not standing in the gaps, creates a difficult atmosphere for our children to be victorious. Let's encourage and pray for these families. God can fix any family with willing participants.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Disconnected
I have heard a lot of talk lately about the dangers of social media. The convenience of modern day communication devices has a down side. While we stay in contact with friends all around the world, our minds are a million miles away from those in the same room. Satan never misses an opportunity to encourage family fragmentation. It is one of those things in itself is not sin until it keeps us from fulfilling our Christian roles as father, mother, husband, or wife.
I can remember when my wife and I moved in our first home together. It was a run down single-wide trailer way out in the country. We were an hour from everything. Many times we only had one vehicle and rode to and from work together. We were getting ready to have our first child. It was such an exciting time. At this point in our lives we had little money. Looking back, that was more of a blessing than a curse. We could not afford luxuries like cable, phone, internet, or even a second vehicle. We were in our own world, away from distractions and God blessed our family. What seemed like hard times was actually the start of a strong foundation for us. We argued as most young couples, but most of our disagreements were settled during our commute time. The long drives really served us well and helped keep our relationship healthy. Our evenings generally included dinner conversation around the table and quality time with our new baby.
Looking back, I realize sometimes we can learn so much from where we began. A successful marriage has nothing to do with how much money we have or how many things we acquire. A strong family is not determined by how many activities our kids participate in. God's design for the family is about close fellowship and a nurturing environment. We are to be growing together in His grace. All the advances in technology are great until it keeps us from being what we are meant to be. I don't think it is necessary to fully disconnect from it all, but where our time is spent tells us a lot about ourselves. Our heart is where our treasure is.
I can remember when my wife and I moved in our first home together. It was a run down single-wide trailer way out in the country. We were an hour from everything. Many times we only had one vehicle and rode to and from work together. We were getting ready to have our first child. It was such an exciting time. At this point in our lives we had little money. Looking back, that was more of a blessing than a curse. We could not afford luxuries like cable, phone, internet, or even a second vehicle. We were in our own world, away from distractions and God blessed our family. What seemed like hard times was actually the start of a strong foundation for us. We argued as most young couples, but most of our disagreements were settled during our commute time. The long drives really served us well and helped keep our relationship healthy. Our evenings generally included dinner conversation around the table and quality time with our new baby.
Looking back, I realize sometimes we can learn so much from where we began. A successful marriage has nothing to do with how much money we have or how many things we acquire. A strong family is not determined by how many activities our kids participate in. God's design for the family is about close fellowship and a nurturing environment. We are to be growing together in His grace. All the advances in technology are great until it keeps us from being what we are meant to be. I don't think it is necessary to fully disconnect from it all, but where our time is spent tells us a lot about ourselves. Our heart is where our treasure is.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Who Cares?
We now live in a me first society. There are so many parents who won't even put their own children's needs ahead of their pleasures. Think of how many kids today are raised by grandparents. Consider the number of kids in foster care. Some days I am ashamed to be part of this generation. My wife and I often talk about how nice it would have been to grow up in the 1950's. Although I truly enjoy the comforts of today's technology, I would love to raise my kids in a more wholesome time.
Today there is no sense of community. No one sits on their front porch and talks with their neighbor. We are a bunch of zombies glued to our smart phones. Our communication is text messages and emails. Our poor communication conveys little compassion or concern for others. When I was a kid there was always 15 or 20 of us out nearly every summer night playing spotlight. Today's kids are nowhere to be found, unless you find their television, computer, or video games. Just like with adults, most children today are having less and less interaction. I think this is a big reason we tend to care less about each other these days. We fail to invest time in one another.
This is especially a tremendous down fall for Christians. Imagine how powerful our influence of sharing Christ would be if lost people around us knew we really cared for them. What if our hearts were broken for these souls and our actions displayed it. I think this holds true with leadership as well with fathers. If our wife and kids can see it hurts us when they hurt, that is so powerful. Us dads need to take ownership of our family problems. We all spend so much time today trying to stay connected. All the while we are pushing ourselves further and further away. Perhaps it is time to unplug from these convienences more often and focus back on relationships.
Today there is no sense of community. No one sits on their front porch and talks with their neighbor. We are a bunch of zombies glued to our smart phones. Our communication is text messages and emails. Our poor communication conveys little compassion or concern for others. When I was a kid there was always 15 or 20 of us out nearly every summer night playing spotlight. Today's kids are nowhere to be found, unless you find their television, computer, or video games. Just like with adults, most children today are having less and less interaction. I think this is a big reason we tend to care less about each other these days. We fail to invest time in one another.
This is especially a tremendous down fall for Christians. Imagine how powerful our influence of sharing Christ would be if lost people around us knew we really cared for them. What if our hearts were broken for these souls and our actions displayed it. I think this holds true with leadership as well with fathers. If our wife and kids can see it hurts us when they hurt, that is so powerful. Us dads need to take ownership of our family problems. We all spend so much time today trying to stay connected. All the while we are pushing ourselves further and further away. Perhaps it is time to unplug from these convienences more often and focus back on relationships.
Monday, May 7, 2012
More Than ABC's
May 8 is teacher appreciation day. We decided to honor my wife a few days early with some home-made cards, cake, and a gift. The small gesture does not describe the magnitude of our gratefullness. A homeschool mom has one of the most difficult jobs in the world. New challenges arise daily along the stress of disapproving family and friends.
Many times we take for granted the huge blessings of homeschool. A homeschool dad once told me academics was low on his priority list. That statement seemed really odd at the time. Today it makes a lot more sense. Is spelling, math, and science important? Absolutely! It's not nearly as important as the values and life lessons my kids learn daily. It is so much more than ABC's. It is the bond my children have with their mother through the commitment of her being there all day every day. What an awesome gift to give your kids, your time.
After three years I have seen so much growth in my family. I truly believe my daughters will become strong, loving mothers and wifes one day. I expect my boys will be kind Christian leaders. We pray this will be the case and we work hard expecting our dedication to be honored. So today I realize the time my children spend in their insulated atmosphere is about a lot more than learning to read. It is about being in an environment that is conducive to finding God's will for their life. It is about an eternal investment and changing our family tree for generations. It is of real value and I am grateful for our homeschool Mommy who is so willing and capable.
Many times we take for granted the huge blessings of homeschool. A homeschool dad once told me academics was low on his priority list. That statement seemed really odd at the time. Today it makes a lot more sense. Is spelling, math, and science important? Absolutely! It's not nearly as important as the values and life lessons my kids learn daily. It is so much more than ABC's. It is the bond my children have with their mother through the commitment of her being there all day every day. What an awesome gift to give your kids, your time.
After three years I have seen so much growth in my family. I truly believe my daughters will become strong, loving mothers and wifes one day. I expect my boys will be kind Christian leaders. We pray this will be the case and we work hard expecting our dedication to be honored. So today I realize the time my children spend in their insulated atmosphere is about a lot more than learning to read. It is about being in an environment that is conducive to finding God's will for their life. It is about an eternal investment and changing our family tree for generations. It is of real value and I am grateful for our homeschool Mommy who is so willing and capable.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Predictable Or Normal?
I have been studying my Sunday school lesson the past few days. We are learning about the phases of corruption in the heart of teens. It is scary to know the spiritual attacks on our children are a constant war. Battle after battle, Satan wants nothing more than distance between our families and God. The lure of sin is always attractive in the beginning. What seems harmless will slowly adapt the spiritual lives of our kids. Over time, what once was clearly wrong becomes more and more acceptable. I am beginning to really understand the importance of foundation.
My children are young and we are not fighting the teen battle yet. I know how I'm raising my kids today will have a direct impact on the teen years. As a former soldier, I often find myself making military comparisons with daily life. Why do we have the strongest national defense in the world? One reason is how our troops train. They are prepared and equipped for battle. We wouldn't parachute our service members behind enemy lines with a water gun. In a sense, that's what we are doing with our kids when we offer them no spiritual foundation. When they are not taught to consistently pray and hide Gods word in their heart we fail. One of the best things we can do for our kids is prepare them for battle. The battle is a sure thing. It is dangerously foolish to think otherwise. Failing to act is failure.
We parents often fall in the trap that it's just a "phase". We accept their increasing bad attitudes, anger, and bitterness as acceptable. I have learned this week that no Christian, of any age, should remain in a miserable state for a long period of time. This is a warning sign to parents. The physical signs on the face and actions of our children is direct evidence of a serious internal, spiritual problem-a problem that needs our attention. These so called "phases" are not normal for a believer, yet they are predictable. We should expect these problems and then deal with the issues. I am learning this daily. The world tells us they will grow out of the disobedience and disrespect. The world's view is much different than the absolute truth of what the Bible teaches us what our family should be. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to see Christ-likeness in society. More than ever we need to work hard to seek truth from our creator. It is not normal for families to live in the same house and rarely spend time in the same room. It is not normal for our kids to listen to music or watch TV that is not God-honoring. It is not normal for our kids to dress in a way that is not modest. It is not normal for my sons and daughters to disrespect me. It is not normal to miss church. These are all worldly acceptable and even predictable, but to the Christian parent should never be accepted as normal.
My children are young and we are not fighting the teen battle yet. I know how I'm raising my kids today will have a direct impact on the teen years. As a former soldier, I often find myself making military comparisons with daily life. Why do we have the strongest national defense in the world? One reason is how our troops train. They are prepared and equipped for battle. We wouldn't parachute our service members behind enemy lines with a water gun. In a sense, that's what we are doing with our kids when we offer them no spiritual foundation. When they are not taught to consistently pray and hide Gods word in their heart we fail. One of the best things we can do for our kids is prepare them for battle. The battle is a sure thing. It is dangerously foolish to think otherwise. Failing to act is failure.
We parents often fall in the trap that it's just a "phase". We accept their increasing bad attitudes, anger, and bitterness as acceptable. I have learned this week that no Christian, of any age, should remain in a miserable state for a long period of time. This is a warning sign to parents. The physical signs on the face and actions of our children is direct evidence of a serious internal, spiritual problem-a problem that needs our attention. These so called "phases" are not normal for a believer, yet they are predictable. We should expect these problems and then deal with the issues. I am learning this daily. The world tells us they will grow out of the disobedience and disrespect. The world's view is much different than the absolute truth of what the Bible teaches us what our family should be. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to see Christ-likeness in society. More than ever we need to work hard to seek truth from our creator. It is not normal for families to live in the same house and rarely spend time in the same room. It is not normal for our kids to listen to music or watch TV that is not God-honoring. It is not normal for our kids to dress in a way that is not modest. It is not normal for my sons and daughters to disrespect me. It is not normal to miss church. These are all worldly acceptable and even predictable, but to the Christian parent should never be accepted as normal.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Making It Count
One of the best things about homeschooling is you can make your own schedule. Your not confined to the time requirements of the county school system. You can teach math at 8:00 PM at the dining room table. You can teach about Jesus and pray in class. More and more I am grateful that we are able to teach our kids at home.
Unfortunately, we have not been able to fully take advantage of this freedom lately. We have 2 foster children and one is required to attend public school. Prayerfully, we will soon adopt these beautiful kids and return to what is "normal" for our family. Our normal is way different than many other families version.
One thing we generally do is take our vacation while other kids are still in school. It is so nice to enjoy the pleasure of smaller crowds. This year we had to vacation during our counties spring break. Although it is not completely ideal, any vacation is a good one. This one has definitely been a great time. We spent our week at The Smoky Mountain Christian Village in Pigeon Forge, TN. It has been wonderful to relax in an alcohol-free environment with like minded believers. I think we will be back next year for sure and I would definitely recommend to others.
The other night after the kids were asleep I sat and thought about the day. I thought about how important it was to make these times really count. I realized the quality of our time is far more important than the quantity of places we visit. We parents look at vacation week as a checklist. We want to get the most for our money and for our children to have as many experiences as we can cram into the week. The funny thing is our kids mostly enjoyed the low key events that were free, like sitting around together each night before bed watching "Little House On The Prairie". They found more excitement looking for turtles in the pond and swimming than visiting Dollywood.
I learned a lot this trip. I learned it is about the relationships more than anything. Just like with Christ. Christians need to comply with obedience, but there is so much more to it. It is about the personal relationship. The same is true with our children. They need the discipline and need all that goes with that. They especially need us, all of us. Not the leftovers and not just on vacation. We need to have our children's heart individually. I hope to make every day count, because we don't get these days back. We have the opportunity to make life long memories and influence how our kids will value their children.
Unfortunately, we have not been able to fully take advantage of this freedom lately. We have 2 foster children and one is required to attend public school. Prayerfully, we will soon adopt these beautiful kids and return to what is "normal" for our family. Our normal is way different than many other families version.
One thing we generally do is take our vacation while other kids are still in school. It is so nice to enjoy the pleasure of smaller crowds. This year we had to vacation during our counties spring break. Although it is not completely ideal, any vacation is a good one. This one has definitely been a great time. We spent our week at The Smoky Mountain Christian Village in Pigeon Forge, TN. It has been wonderful to relax in an alcohol-free environment with like minded believers. I think we will be back next year for sure and I would definitely recommend to others.
The other night after the kids were asleep I sat and thought about the day. I thought about how important it was to make these times really count. I realized the quality of our time is far more important than the quantity of places we visit. We parents look at vacation week as a checklist. We want to get the most for our money and for our children to have as many experiences as we can cram into the week. The funny thing is our kids mostly enjoyed the low key events that were free, like sitting around together each night before bed watching "Little House On The Prairie". They found more excitement looking for turtles in the pond and swimming than visiting Dollywood.
I learned a lot this trip. I learned it is about the relationships more than anything. Just like with Christ. Christians need to comply with obedience, but there is so much more to it. It is about the personal relationship. The same is true with our children. They need the discipline and need all that goes with that. They especially need us, all of us. Not the leftovers and not just on vacation. We need to have our children's heart individually. I hope to make every day count, because we don't get these days back. We have the opportunity to make life long memories and influence how our kids will value their children.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
We Fail When They Don't
Spring is in the air. It is such a beautiful time of year. Everybody seems to be spending more time outdoors. There is nothing like the smell of freshly cut grass and hot dogs cooking on the grill. The kids can begin to burn up all the stored energy from a long winter. It's symbolic of a new beginning or a rebirth. God allows us to see so much of his beautiful creation this time of year.
The warm weather ushers in Spring sports. Our children are kicking soccer balls and hitting baseballs. Teamwork is being taught. I can remember playing Teeball as a young boy and how exciting it was to have a uniform and play an organized sport. In the past few years I enjoyed seeing some of my children play soccer.
Youth sports have changed a lot since I was little. It seems some parents are obsessed with their kids winning. You often see the worst in parents on the sideline in how they treat officials, their kids, and other parents. Our kids will learn more from our example than our verbal instruction. In an effort to calm parents, and protect the feelings of kids, some leagues no longer keep score. I find this to be a shame. It is easy to be a winner, but how will our children know how to deal with loss if they never experience it? In a world where all must be fair, they are being short-changed in the long run. How will children be able to one day deal with not receiving a promotion or being rejected in a relationship? It is our job as parents to prepare our kids for adulthood and not some make believe world where they always win? In the end, we fail our children when we don't allow them to fail.
The warm weather ushers in Spring sports. Our children are kicking soccer balls and hitting baseballs. Teamwork is being taught. I can remember playing Teeball as a young boy and how exciting it was to have a uniform and play an organized sport. In the past few years I enjoyed seeing some of my children play soccer.
Youth sports have changed a lot since I was little. It seems some parents are obsessed with their kids winning. You often see the worst in parents on the sideline in how they treat officials, their kids, and other parents. Our kids will learn more from our example than our verbal instruction. In an effort to calm parents, and protect the feelings of kids, some leagues no longer keep score. I find this to be a shame. It is easy to be a winner, but how will our children know how to deal with loss if they never experience it? In a world where all must be fair, they are being short-changed in the long run. How will children be able to one day deal with not receiving a promotion or being rejected in a relationship? It is our job as parents to prepare our kids for adulthood and not some make believe world where they always win? In the end, we fail our children when we don't allow them to fail.
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